Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
