i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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