just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
