Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
