You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
