i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
should my penis look like a turkey
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
