so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
