My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i love accidental penises.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
