Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
