finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
