I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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