just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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