32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
