There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
