Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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