I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Maybe he injected his testicle?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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