Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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