You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
