we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
