i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
