let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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