You're my little dorito
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
