Im at strip club and am horny
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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