it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
