Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
