My room smells like vodka and shame
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
