We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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