Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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