I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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