please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
