So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
