Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
false alarm. still invincible.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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