Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
