i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
