If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
