The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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