My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
