I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
my shit smells like andre
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
