You're completely useless in the revolution.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
