it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
