So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
