If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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