benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
