when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This is the high leading the old right now
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
