He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
