Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
