New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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