its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
