ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
