The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
