let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
