we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
