I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
